Last week, we explored the first five of the 10 Keys to Happier Living, covering Giving, Relating, Exercising, Awareness and Trying Out. This week, we complete the framework with the remaining five keys, focusing on direction, resilience, emotions, acceptance and meaning.
The sixth of the 10 Keys to Happier Living is:
Direction
Having something to look forward to gives us purpose. A sense of direction and optimism makes us more likely to experience positive emotions and greater life satisfaction.
Hope is also a positive motivational force that can get us through difficult challenges. Setting goals that are realistic and using hope can motivate us. Don’t put pressure on yourself with unrealistic targets, instead set goals that support your happiness.
Visualising a positive future can make our goals feel more achievable and motivate us to take action. Studies show we can use it as a tangible way to turn our dreams into reality.
Reflection: Do you have any current goals?
Ideas:
- Imagine your life in 5 years time if it turned out exactly how you wanted it to, how does it feel?
- Set one small SMART goal to achieve over the next two days and write down the first step you’ll take.
- Think about the goals you have set – how is it going?
Resilience
In life, we all have ups and downs. Research shows we can learn ‘actions’ and ‘habits’ to boost natural resilience. So when we face a tough challenge in our life (although it still hurts), we have the skills to be able to cope better.
Active coping is a skill that involves acknowledging the difficulties we experience and finding constructive ways to cope. We then feel more in control, which is important for our wellbeing.
Looking after your physical and mental wellbeing helps build resilience before difficult times arise.
Nurturing relationships and knowing who you can turn to for support when you need it is linked to happiness. Also ‘noticing’ when good things happen is great for our resilience.
Lastly, we can all fall into ‘thinking traps’, such as assuming the worst or being overly self-critical. Learning to recognise these patterns helps us respond more calmly and constructively. The way we think influences how we feel and how we respond to life’s challenges.
Reflection: What actions help you build resilience?
Ideas:
- Think back to how you coped with a challenging situation, could this help you today?
- Who can you turn to for support? And who do YOU provide support for?
- Think back to a time you jumped to a negative conclusion about a small event. What might have been an alternative reaction?
Emotions
Positive emotions don’t just feel good—they also support our mental wellbeing. The human brain naturally focuses on what’s wrong, we need to train our brain to look for what’s good.
By focusing on what’s right, rather than wrong, we can increase pleasant emotional moments. Drawing on positive emotions during difficult times can strengthen our ability to cope with challenges.
Feeling and expressing gratitude is another emotion that is important for happiness. Gratitude connects us to others and helps with our relationships. There are many other positive emotions – joy, interest, curiosity. All these positive emotions can be enjoyed by giving them a little acknowledgement and respect to savour them.
Reflection: How do you feel about the balance of your emotions today?
Ideas:
- Each night, write down 2 things you enjoyed today and are grateful for and why they mattered to you.
- Each day, think of the best moment in your day
- Reflect on 3 good things that happened this week because of other people
- To work on savouring our positive emotions – try ‘savouring the past’ and ‘savouring the present’
Acceptance
Be comfortable with who you are. None of us are perfect, when we accept ourselves, we are likely to be happier.
We face many different situations every day and we can never be prepared for them all. Whatever challenge we may face, we will sometimes fail. We are all human! Accepting that and not dwelling on failure means we are able to learn, grow and move on. This is very important in today’s world with social media, where it’s easy to compare ourselves with others and feel we’re not good enough.
Self-acceptance and self-esteem are areas to work on, but they can be tricky. One way to develop self-acceptance is through learning to be self-compassionate. Self-compassion can also help us develop and build connections as we are able to see other’s perspectives.
Are you your own critic or friend? Cultivating an inner voice that is kind and helpful, like you would be to a friend, helps us feel happier and more confident. It’s not ignoring mistakes, but finding constructive ways to learn and move forward.
Acceptance means being aware of your strengths and weaknesses and working on areas you need to. We usually highlight our weaknesses, but omit to think about all the amazing things we can do! Analysing what you think are your ‘signature strengths’ and applying them is a good place to start. You can then begin to develop a ‘strengths’ practice, rather than just thinking about weaknesses.
Reflection: How much do you accept yourself for who you are?
Ideas:
- What would your friend say to you, or you to them in a difficult situation?
- Think about a situation you felt inadequate, write a letter as if you are a kind observer
- Think back over the last week and write down what you did well and how you felt
- Identify what you think are your top 3 character strengths
Meaning
To live a happy and fulfilling life, we all need a sense of meaning—and that we all matter. You may have come across the saying…’we are all part of something bigger’ We’re all connected to the world in countless ways, and each of us has the ability to make a positive difference.
Meaning looks different for everyone, but taking time to reflect on what matters most can help us discover it. Reflection can seem difficult to begin with, but like with anything, it takes practice.
Experiencing ‘meaning’ daily is important and can even include small things like checking in on a friend. People who have a sense of meaning tend to feel more positive, be healthier and enjoy their work more. Having a sense of meaning may help us cope better in difficult times because we may experience fewer negative emotions and are more likely to use active coping strategies.
Meaning can be found in many places, even from adversity. A good place to start is through reflection and then creating meaning by helping others (see the other keys for inspiration).
Practising gratitude is a good tool to use to help develop and maintain meaning. Through this practice, we can start to appreciate what we have and what we value.
Reflection: What gives you meaning?
Ideas:
- Think of all the ways you are connected to the world and how you make a difference
- Think of a time when feeling connected to something/someone helped you overcome a challenge
- Imagine you are 100 years old, look back over your life, what was the most meaningful moment
- Are there any sources of meaning in your life you would like to nurture more? When can you do this?
If you haven’t already, read Part One of the 10 Keys to Happier Living, where we explore Giving, Relating, Exercising, Awareness and Trying Out. Together, these 10 evidence-based habits provide a practical framework for building happiness, improving wellbeing and living a more fulfilling life. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s making small, positive changes that you can maintain over time.
Choose one key that resonates with you this week and put it into practice. Small, consistent actions often have the greatest impact.
